Trigger warning: Child abuse (factual, not graphic). Real family role titles sans names, to protect the survivors not the perpetrators. Mood: "Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehn" by Bob Patin
Thanks for sharing, I worked for Lumos Foundation in child protection… I know this reality. It is one thing to get kids out of institutions, it is another to find safe and welcoming foster families…
Some children survive because they learned not to trust easily. Healing doesn’t start by correcting that instinct.
Such wonderful perspective, thank you. Indeed, healing doesn't start with suppressing our survival instincts, but honoring why they're there. To me, honoring this means fully seeing the kids and putting ourselves in their shoes. What goes wrong so often, is when a child finally does disclose their experience and the person they trusted to help them doesn't handle it in their best interest. I'm sorry you had to see the broken system from within, which shows how rampant this is. We need to do better 🖤
The way you describe that moment when the social worker made it clear she wasnt there to help is absolutley heartbreaking. What strikes me most is how systems designed to protect can sometimes become another layer of control for abusers. I worked with foster youth for years and saw this dynamic play out too often, where the very presence of oversight gave perpetrators more tools to intimidate. Your courage in writing this is immense.
My inner child thanks you for seeing this. They'd been prepared. We saw her one more time, I should have added that. Maybe in the book, I will. Not much later, I had come home from school to find the social worker having coffee with Aunt in the sunroom (a closed, windowed porch we had). She barely acknowledged me. I stared her down as I passed right by her to go to the back of the house. And Aunt was never, ever home before we got home from school. But that day, there they were, having had a whole coffee date before we arrived.
So sorry you experienced this I know how difficult it is to heal from childhood trauma it has taken me 74 years to be at this place now able to share all my life lessons and wisdom on this amazing platform
I can only be in awe of the strength you showed. You wrote this so well, it felt like we were living that cold fear and feeling it creeping on us, setting the bleak atmosphere and the heavy tension, the heartbreaking realisations, the presence of that delicate yet strong bond between the sisters added so much weight to this, the loss of hope, the sweet animals, all of this made and explained layers of pain and fear. Thank for sharing this, and I wish you’re in a much better place now💌❣️
Thank you, Una. In some ways it feels like a lifetime away, and in some ways it’s always with me. I’ve done the work to heal so I could get to this place and finally write about it from an objective place as well as my subjective experience. I appreciate your heartfelt feedback and support 🖤
This is heartbreaking. I’m a forensic psychologist and I dealt meany times with foster kids, I see how screws up is the system but it’s people like you that share their stories that little by little make the difference. Children deserve better than this. Thank you for speaking about this and for sharing such a vulnerable and traumatic moment of your life.
Thank you, Ink, I appreciate you and everyone in your field who are working to be a part of the solution. This was and is a rampant problem, and we just need to do better, period. 🐦⬛
It is unfortunate how many of us have stories like these. And unfortunate that there is more this social worker and another did during my parents' efforts to try to regain custody of us. If you'd like to catch up on the other shadow pieces so far, this one follows Labeled as Something Else and Alien in the Room. Ty for reading closely and commenting thoughtfully, I appreciate you 🖤🐦⬛
The worst part is, they 100% got away with it. Never a charge pressed, not an ounce of reputation lost. I’m glad I’ve reached a point in healing to be able to write about this and raise awareness - much like you are. hugs
Hehe may I join you? Good ol' South Carolina. Although they have since divorced and no longer live in that house. If anything, I've always wanted to knock on that door and ask the people there if the house ever felt wrong, or haunted. See if the echoes still reverberate there, or if a house of horrors can become a home of clean warmth after all
Thank you for sharing this. Your awareness as a child—reading the room, dissociating to survive, sensing false authority—was not weakness, it was intelligence under threat. What you describe is coherent, real, and painfully clear.
What stayed with me is wondering what happened to your cousin—and whether you and your sister finally escaped. I found myself feeling scared for you both as I read. I’m listening.
Thank you so much. John. I always value your thoughtful perspective. You're right - In my healing work, something that I realized was that my intelligence and inherent empathy were large contributors to my survival and ability to resist becoming one of them. I'm very grateful for those qualities, which I believe helped my sister as well. My cousin was not so equipped. I'll keep writing these pieces until the story is complete. As far as my cousin, I'll say for now that the apple fell not far from the tree. 🐦⬛
Thanks for sharing, I worked for Lumos Foundation in child protection… I know this reality. It is one thing to get kids out of institutions, it is another to find safe and welcoming foster families…
Some children survive because they learned not to trust easily. Healing doesn’t start by correcting that instinct.
It starts by honoring why it formed.
Such wonderful perspective, thank you. Indeed, healing doesn't start with suppressing our survival instincts, but honoring why they're there. To me, honoring this means fully seeing the kids and putting ourselves in their shoes. What goes wrong so often, is when a child finally does disclose their experience and the person they trusted to help them doesn't handle it in their best interest. I'm sorry you had to see the broken system from within, which shows how rampant this is. We need to do better 🖤
The way you describe that moment when the social worker made it clear she wasnt there to help is absolutley heartbreaking. What strikes me most is how systems designed to protect can sometimes become another layer of control for abusers. I worked with foster youth for years and saw this dynamic play out too often, where the very presence of oversight gave perpetrators more tools to intimidate. Your courage in writing this is immense.
My inner child thanks you for seeing this. They'd been prepared. We saw her one more time, I should have added that. Maybe in the book, I will. Not much later, I had come home from school to find the social worker having coffee with Aunt in the sunroom (a closed, windowed porch we had). She barely acknowledged me. I stared her down as I passed right by her to go to the back of the house. And Aunt was never, ever home before we got home from school. But that day, there they were, having had a whole coffee date before we arrived.
We need to do better by our nation's children. 🖤
So sorry you experienced this I know how difficult it is to heal from childhood trauma it has taken me 74 years to be at this place now able to share all my life lessons and wisdom on this amazing platform
I see you and I'm proud of you. The work, and the openness, is never easy🫶
I can only be in awe of the strength you showed. You wrote this so well, it felt like we were living that cold fear and feeling it creeping on us, setting the bleak atmosphere and the heavy tension, the heartbreaking realisations, the presence of that delicate yet strong bond between the sisters added so much weight to this, the loss of hope, the sweet animals, all of this made and explained layers of pain and fear. Thank for sharing this, and I wish you’re in a much better place now💌❣️
Thank you, Una. In some ways it feels like a lifetime away, and in some ways it’s always with me. I’ve done the work to heal so I could get to this place and finally write about it from an objective place as well as my subjective experience. I appreciate your heartfelt feedback and support 🖤
You’re incredible 💌
Heartbreakingly, relatable, and powerful
Thank you, Guccio 🐦⬛
This is heartbreaking. I’m a forensic psychologist and I dealt meany times with foster kids, I see how screws up is the system but it’s people like you that share their stories that little by little make the difference. Children deserve better than this. Thank you for speaking about this and for sharing such a vulnerable and traumatic moment of your life.
Thank you, Ink, I appreciate you and everyone in your field who are working to be a part of the solution. This was and is a rampant problem, and we just need to do better, period. 🐦⬛
Thank you for speaking up and writing this amazing piece! I had horrible stories with the system myself, I look forward to read more of your pieces🤍
It is unfortunate how many of us have stories like these. And unfortunate that there is more this social worker and another did during my parents' efforts to try to regain custody of us. If you'd like to catch up on the other shadow pieces so far, this one follows Labeled as Something Else and Alien in the Room. Ty for reading closely and commenting thoughtfully, I appreciate you 🖤🐦⬛
I definitely will! I just saved them!
This is beyond terrible. I'm so angry for you right now. This was like a horror movie of the worst kind. I'm so... sad this happened.
The worst part is, they 100% got away with it. Never a charge pressed, not an ounce of reputation lost. I’m glad I’ve reached a point in healing to be able to write about this and raise awareness - much like you are. hugs
Where do they live?
I have a road trip…
Hehe may I join you? Good ol' South Carolina. Although they have since divorced and no longer live in that house. If anything, I've always wanted to knock on that door and ask the people there if the house ever felt wrong, or haunted. See if the echoes still reverberate there, or if a house of horrors can become a home of clean warmth after all
love this so so much 🩷
Thanks so much, Aelin 🖤
This was so engaging. It felt like there was a cliff hanger in every other paragraph that made me want to keep reading.
I wish this were fiction so I could intellectualize the pain of every child in the piece; even the bully's.
Thanks for sharing this with us 🖤
Thank you, Edwin. I always value your feedback 🐦⬛
Thank you for sharing this. Your awareness as a child—reading the room, dissociating to survive, sensing false authority—was not weakness, it was intelligence under threat. What you describe is coherent, real, and painfully clear.
What stayed with me is wondering what happened to your cousin—and whether you and your sister finally escaped. I found myself feeling scared for you both as I read. I’m listening.
Thank you so much. John. I always value your thoughtful perspective. You're right - In my healing work, something that I realized was that my intelligence and inherent empathy were large contributors to my survival and ability to resist becoming one of them. I'm very grateful for those qualities, which I believe helped my sister as well. My cousin was not so equipped. I'll keep writing these pieces until the story is complete. As far as my cousin, I'll say for now that the apple fell not far from the tree. 🐦⬛
Keep writing and thank you for sharing your story with us. 🙏🤗✌️